“The worst place for a Black man to reside is in the imagination of a white person.”

This chilling statement, shared by Jill Henderson, encapsulates the fear and injustice that Black mothers face daily. It’s a fear that became Jill’s reality in 2017 when her 22-year-old son, Bakari, was brutally murdered in a racially motivated attack while on a photoshoot in Greece. This senseless act of violence, which captured national and international attention, robbed Bakari of his life, a life brimming with passion, ambition, and a deep love for his family.

Bakari, a recent college graduate, was more than just a “bright young man with a promising future.” He was a force of nature, driven to succeed and inspire others. He dreamed of building a fashion line, mentoring youth, and achieving financial success, not just for himself, but for his family. “He was always challenging you to exceed your expectations and what you could do too,” Jill shared, her voice thick with emotion. “He was a motivator, a good listener, and always encouraged those around him to be their best selves.”

His friends felt this deeply, describing him as someone who pushed them to strive for greatness and believe in themselves. They even adopted the phrase “BLB” – Be Like Bakari – as a reminder to live their lives with the same passion and purpose that he had.

Facing the Unthinkable, Then Fighting Back

Losing a child is a pain no parent should ever have to endure, but Jill had already faced this unimaginable loss once before. Ten years prior to Bakari’s death, her bonus-son, Darrion, was also murdered, his case tragically remaining unsolved.

“When this happened with Bakari,” Jill confessed, her voice raw with anguish, “I was like, what in the world have we done that we deserved to have this happen twice?” The weight of grief was suffocating, pushing her to the edge of despair. “I was on the brink of suicide, several times,” she admitted, sharing the chilling detail of keeping sleeping pills by her bedside. “The enemy was whispering in my ear – not to take one to go to sleep but to take the entire bottle to ease my pain. ‘Yes, you will be missed but people will understand that you could no longer bear the grief.’”

But Jill, drawing on the deep well of resilience instilled in her by generations of strong Black women, refused to be consumed by the darkness. “Being a Black woman, with our generation, we were taught to push through, to keep going,” she explained. “Resilience was woven into the fabric of our being.”

Her faith, intertwined with the unwavering support of her family and friends, became her lifeline. She clung to the belief that God had a plan for her, even in the midst of unimaginable suffering. She learned to breathe through the pain, to find slivers of peace amidst the chaos, and to trust that she would eventually find her way forward.

And find her way she did. Refusing to be defined by her grief, Jill became a fierce advocate for her son and other families who have lost loved ones to violence abroad. As she continues to fight the Greek judicial system for justice she uncovered a shocking truth: the US government offers minimal support to families in these situations. Fueled by this injustice, she’s now working tirelessly to pass a federal bill that would provide crucial resources to families navigating this complex and heartbreaking process – financial assistance, translation services, legal counsel, and a dedicated liaison to guide them through the labyrinth of bureaucracy.

A Legacy of Healing and Action

Out of the ashes of tragedy, Jill forged a new purpose. She channeled her grief and her love for Bakari into creating The Bakari Foundation, an organization dedicated to healing, peace, and clarity.

“We want people to not just survive, but to truly thrive,” Jill emphasized.

The foundation provides a safe haven for families who have lost loved ones to the hands of another, offering support, resources, and a space to grieve and connect. It also empowers youth through mentorship, financial literacy and entrepreneurship programs, and personal and professional growth opportunities. Jill sees the foundation as a way to continue Bakari’s legacy of encouraging others to reach their full potential.

Jill’s commitment to helping others heal stems from her own journey of forgiveness. She embarked on a 40-day forgiveness journey, recognizing that holding onto anger and resentment would only poison her own spirit and prevent her from honoring Bakari’s memory.

“The goal is always to love,” she shared. “Love is the antidote to hate. It’s the only way to truly overcome.”

But the journey hasn’t been easy. Securing funding for the foundation has been a constant struggle, particularly as a Black female founder. “It’s harder for a Black woman to get funding than it is for a white woman,” Jill pointed out, highlighting the systemic inequalities that persist even in the face of such vital work.

Inspiring a Ripple Effect

Despite these obstacles, Jill remains unwavering in her mission. She’s driven by the memory of Bakari and the desire to create a world where other families don’t have to endure the same pain and injustice.

Jill’s story is a testament to the indomitable human spirit, the power of love, and the resilience that blooms even in the face of unimaginable loss. The Bakari Foundation is not only a tribute to Bakari’s life and dreams, but also a testament to the unwavering spirit of a mother who refused to be silenced. It’s a powerful reminder that even in the darkest of times, we can find the strength to heal, to forgive, to fight for justice, and to transform our pain into purpose.

As mature Black women, we understand the importance of leaving a legacy for future generations. Jill’s journey reminds us that our legacies are not defined by the challenges we face, but by how we choose to respond to them. We can choose to let tragedy break us, or we can choose to rise above it, transforming our pain into purpose and leaving an enduring impact on the world.

NOTE:

A warm thank you to Jill Henderson for sitting down with me and opening up to share her story for our Her Radiant Path blog. I appreciate her time and authenticity.

FOLLOW JILL HENDERSON:

Website: thebakarifoundation.org and jillhenderson.com

Facebook: The Bakari Foundation and Bakari Luxury Sportswear

Instagram: @thebakarifoundation and @bakariluxurysportswear and @iamladyjill

To gain further insight, we encourage you to watch the compelling interview with CBS’s Gayle King, available through the link below.

RESOURCES:

CBS NEWS, Gayle King Interview, August 24, 2017

USA TODAY, July 6, 2018

ESSENCE, October 26, 2020

CBS NEWS, February 9. 2022

PEOPLE, June 17, 2022